What Does Storytelling Mean to Me?

This essay was written as my Cinematic Arts Personal Statement for my application to the University of Southern California in Los Angeles.

With the amount of miles under my feet, it’s understandable when I say that my life is made up of many long stories and that I feel far older than I look. To me, neither of these things are a problem— I have always had a great love for stories and adventures, and although my travels have aged me in some ways, I know that I can still be young at heart. As I reflect on my life, and the troubles I faced, I remember the words of G.K. Chesterton, “Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” In my life I have found a lot of truth in his words, because I found resolve and hope in the stories I read and watched. I know that, coupled with my life’s experiences, stories have helped me grow into the strong individual I am today.

From the onset, my experiences have provided me with a unique perspective. I left the United States with my mother when I was six years old and we moved to South Africa. I found myself on the other side of the world— a stranger in a strange land on an adventure of my own. But just like my heroes in the stories I read and watched, I quickly learned that the world is a dangerous place and that this adventure was not going to be an easy one. The city we lived in has one of the highest crime rates in the world: I dodged multiple kidnapping attempts while my mother survived multiple carjacking attempts. Also, when we moved to South Africa, apartheid had been over for more than a decade, but some of its habits still remained. My Thai heritage has given me a darker skin tone, and to some at the school I attended, that was all the excuse they needed to harass me and throw racial slurs in my direction. At the time, I thought the reasons for their mistreatment were because I was an American in their midst and that I was a very creative individual. Their actions and motives stung, and when I learned the meaning of their words, the wound only grew deeper.

In spite of all the danger and the bullying, through it all I found comfort in reading and watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Middle Earth reminded me a lot of where I was living. Our gated community was the perfect blend of the Shire and the Misty Mountains— it was lush and green, with tall trees and rolling hills, and from our altitude, we could always look out and see the Indian Ocean no matter the weather. Everywhere we went in that country just reminded me of another land in Middle Earth— from Rohan to Lothlorien—and everywhere we went I was just like Frodo; I carried the burden of my experiences. I had to grow up quickly and carry on, but I knew that if I could just keep my chin up and keep on walking, like Frodo, my quest would be complete and I’d have an exceptional story to tell about it for the rest of my life.

After living in South Africa for nearly four years, we returned to the US just in time for the Recession to hit. Both my mother and I had a lot of emotional and psychological baggage from our time overseas and we had wounds that only time would heal. Aside from the economic turnover, moving back to the States provided a very difficult adjustment period for me. I found it difficult to trust people, and because of all the trauma it was difficult for me to communicate with others and to make new friends. By the end of sixth grade, I was given a handful of new lessons about life and the cruelty of others. Specifically, upon having gained my trust, some of my classmates performed an elaborate prank as a means of gaslighting me to prove my supposed insanity. This not only added to my existing trust issues, but it also killed my confidence. It felt impossible to make and maintain friendships and to work creatively; as a result, my writing suffered significantly. Ultimately there was a change in my family’s circumstances that allowed me to move back to New York— it was only then that I started to rebuild my confidence and trust in others. Through it all, I kept coming back to my stories. I remembered not only the movies, but the times I had already been through, and I knew that if I just kept persevering I would be able to make it to the next day.

Now I am entering my twenties and all that remains of my past is shadows, dust, and faded scars. Although I’m not on the other side of the world or facing any tribulations, I’m on a new adventure and my life is filled with joy. Time and grace have healed my wounds, and in retrospect I see that the commonality between all of my stories is my knowledge that there is still good left in the world and that it’s worth fighting for. I’ve realized that a great deal of the strength I’ve built up over my life has come from the films I watched and the stories they told me. Since the days of my childhood, I have always carried this love of filmmaking and storytelling with me, and now I can finally enter that world myself. I want to tell stories that remind people of the good that’s left in this world and that they should fight for it. I want to tell stories that will inspire strength and bring light into dark places. I hope that as a filmmaker I am able to give audiences the same gift my heroes in the world of film gave to me.